She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
