i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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