Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
two words...techno handjob
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
