My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize