she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
