Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
