I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize