And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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