I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
