i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
