Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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