We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
