i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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