I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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