He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i will never coherently bang her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
