it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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