this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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