almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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