May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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