Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
