Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
