you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
