sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
