Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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