I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
