Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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