it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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