I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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