FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
