holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
