So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
