I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize