How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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