How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
