I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
