kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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