The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Still dying that you shit outside
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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