the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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