I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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