i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
