Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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