is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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