You're my little dorito
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
