Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
