I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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