I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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