Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
