white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
