i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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