She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
