yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
