My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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