just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
