I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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