...so i touched it.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
