I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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