Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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