I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
