So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize