I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
