I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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