Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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