If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
