Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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